How To Support Those Who Are Depressed
Never underestimate when someone uses the word ´depressed´
Depression has its dictionary definition yet I am going to define it as; a mental, emotional and spiritual illness which affects individuals on different intensity levels ranging from mild to severe.
We are all unique, how we perceive ourselves, others and the world around us has come about from a whole range of factors. How we treat others and present ourselves often derives from unconscious projections as well as conscious mindsets. I have met and know many people who others would never see as depressed.
There is a lack of understanding that lurks about with how depression presents itself. There is no set format that can simply be labelled Depression like a product on a shelf… It can be visible (signs of prolonged despair, lack of engagement, over sleeping etc.) and invisible.
It is very important that when we know someone who has depression that we seek to support them, our very actions can bring some light to the dark grip of depression.
In 2004, I was staying at a friend´s house and we were woken up by a phone call with very devastating news, one of our friends had committed suicide. He was only just beginning his adult life, he had a family that adored him, he was popular, great at sports and always had a smile and a joke to tell. Yet, unknown to many, he was battling with depression and this led him to taking his own life. Let this sink in, there were zero signs to others that he was depressed, yet he suffered silently with severe depression.
His funeral was the biggest I´ve ever been to, it was so packed that there were crowds upon crowds outside the church that simply couldn´t get in. Lots of young men like our friend, lots of family, he was well loved. But did he feel this way? Perhaps he felt people loved how he made them feel, he would make you laugh, he would give advice, he would be there. Was it possible that he felt so alone that no one actually knew who he really was or how he felt?
When someone takes their own life, it has a very different type of pain, people often feel they could´ve done something yet the reality is, it was that person´s decision, when someone is actively suicidal (when they take steps to commit suicide) they usually do this when they are physically alone so no one can prevent them and they don´t always show signs of depression to others.
You may know many people who are depressed and have no idea about it. These people may be the ones who make you laugh, the ones who always smile, who may appear so positive.
So what can you do if there are no visible signs of depression, how can you help? It is the everyday actions that matter. Whether a person has no signs of depression or whether they tell you or show you they are depressed, these are some of the everyday actions that you can do to support:
- Be a ray of light to others — simply being positive, noticing and expressing the good in others, appreciating people´s efforts and encouraging them to keep going when they feel like giving up can make a huge difference to someone.
- Check in on people — If you haven´t heard from someone you know in a while or they´re “acting out of character” message/call/visit them. A simple call to someone I know prevented them from committing suicide, literally a phone call.
- Never underestimate when someone says that they are depressed — If someone says they´re depressed, they feel it. Some people may get seasonal depression, some may feel depressed due to a life changing event, there are just so many factors. Instead of saying anything along the lines of “Oh just get over it…” or “You´ll be fine.” / “You´re not depressed.” Try asking them if they want to talk about how they´re feeling, show that you care about them and this will help them trust that they can really be open with you.
- Be a shoulder to cry on — if a person opens up to you about their depression, before spewing off solutions like “Try counselling”/ “Try leaving your house” etc. just simply be there. Knowing that one person understands or at least tries to understand how they´re feeling, makes a huge difference.
I must stress, depression doesn´t always equate to suicide as stated before how it affects people can be mild-severe. Yet depression is out there affecting many people´s lives, it often accompanies loneliness, even if a person is surrounded by many. Depression can come with anxiety, fear, anger, hallucinations, paranoia and hearing voices. In order to fight this enemy, we all need to simply have more understanding, awareness and be kinder to others.
In a world where you can be anything, be kind — Caroline Flack
Thanks for reading!
If you are suffering with depression, please know you are here for a purpose, you are special, you are unique and you may not feel it but you are loved.
Useful websites regarding depression :
